Hi there I’m trying not to dissociate at work and thought this would be fun use of my current mental capacity.

So Hamlet's first drag on Claudius is also a drag on Danish culture, which DF1 Claudius has complained about, but still participates in. Claudii can be played in a variety of ways, from drunk most of the time (I’m looking at you, Robert Shaw Claudius) to mostly fine, but it’s canon that the heavy drinking is just something Danish kings are expected to do and there’s even a little ceremony around it.

HAMLET

The King doth wake tonight and takes his rouse,
Keeps wassail, and the swagg’ring upspring reels;
And, as he drains his draughts of Rhenish down,
The kettledrum and trumpet thus bray out
The triumph of his pledge.
HORATIO

Is it a custom?
HAMLET

Ay, marry, is ’t,
But, to my mind, though I am native here
And to the manner born, it is a custom
More honored in the breach than the observance.
This heavy-headed revel east and west
Makes us traduced and taxed of other nations.
They clepe us drunkards and with swinish phrase
Soil our addition. And, indeed, it takes
From our achievements, though performed at height,
The pith and marrow of our attribute.
oft it chances in particular men
That for some vicious mole of nature in them,
As in their birth (wherein they are not guilty,
Since nature cannot choose his origin),
By the o’ergrowth of some complexion
(Oft breaking down the pales and forts of reason),
Or by some habit that too much o’erleavens
The form of plausive manners—that these men,
Carrying, I say, the stamp of one defect,
Being nature’s livery or fortune’s star,
His virtues else, be they as pure as grace,
As infinite as man may undergo,
Shall in the general censure take corruption
From that particular fault. The dram of evil
Doth all the noble substance of a doubt To his own scandal.

Tell us how you really feel, Hamlet! It’s actually an interesting passage to read into, from a Claudius apologist perspective. It’s comparing Denmark’s alcohol problem to the way a single flaw can condemn an otherwise good man. But Hamlet will continue harping on this one flaw, don’t you worry about it.

There’s a slightly subtler dig in the ‘too, too sullied flesh’ monologue

That it should come to this: But two months dead—nay, not so much, not two. So excellent a king, that was to this Hyperion to a satyr

Satyrs are associated with drunkenness and lustfulness, and Hamlet is attributing both those qualities to Claudius. Dionysian!Claudius2 foreshadowing?

Another subtle one depends on the production – Hamlet says to Horatio

But what is your affair in Elsinore?
We’ll teach you to drink deep ere you depart.

which could be sincere, but I’ve seen more than one Hamlet say it sarcastically in reference to the king’s wassailing.

And then there’s this exchange which I love:

GUILDENSTERN
The King, sir—
HAMLET
Ay, sir, what of him?
GUILDENSTERN
Is in his retirement marvelous distempered.
HAMLET
With drink, sir?
GUILDENSTERN
No, my lord, with choler. Your wisdom should show itself more richer to signify this to the doctor, for for me to put him to his purgation would perhaps plunge him into more Choler.

It’s so sassy. It’s also some great humors humor. The wordplay here is that distemper can either mean a bad mood or an illness (Claudius uses it elsewhere in the play to refer to Hamlet’s madness), so Hamlet is basically being like ‘oh, did he drink himself sick again? :D’ And when Guildenstern goes ‘no, I mean he’s pissed off,’ Hamlet deliberately misunderstands again as ‘oh, too much choler, that sounds like a problem for his doctor.’ Purgation is the treatment of humor imbalance through blood-letting or cathartics to get rid of the excess of humors. So, like, he could try blood-letting his uncle but he doesn’t think it would help. What a scamp.

Hamlet continues to drag his uncle even when he’s deciding not to kill him.

Up sword, and know thou a more horrid hent.
When he is drunk asleep, or in his rage,
Or in th’ incestuous pleasure of his bed,
At game, a-swearing, or about some act
That has no relish of salvation in ’t

He’s just like ‘ugh I’ll just wait until the next time he’s drunk, it’s going to happen eventually.’

It’s kind of funny (I mean not funny haha) when you think about it! Because Hamlet ultimately kills his uncle by force-feeding him wine. And the whole ceremony with the wine is an example of the kind of custom that Hamlet thinks is better honored in the breach than the observance. Claudius lays it out and there are kettledrums and trumpets and everything.

Set me the stoups of wine upon that table.—
If Hamlet give the first or second hit
Or quit in answer of the third exchange,
Let all the battlements their ordnance fire.
The King shall drink to Hamlet’s better breath,
And in the cup an union shall he throw,
Richer than that which four successive kings
In Denmark’s crown have worn. Give me the cups,
And let the kettle to the trumpet speak,
The trumpet to the cannoneer without,
The cannons to the heavens, the heaven to earth,
“Now the King drinks to Hamlet.” Come, begin.
And you, the judges, bear a wary eye.

So you could say Hamlet was saved by not participating in Danish drinking culture, since Hamlet puts by the chalice when it’s offered to him. Except, you know. We all know it doesn’t save him. I guess to be more accurate, it gets his mother killed? I’m not sure there’s a lesson here.

Hey, it’s noon and I’ve successfully managed to keep my brain active, I hope you enjoyed that.